Wednesday, November 26, 2014

The Park is WIDE OPEN

This is me, after watching the trailer and waiting for next year

I have my Nightcrawler review in the works. But this is a pressing matter. So, you know that the trailer for Jurassic World dropped out of nowhere an hour ago. I was still processing everything I saw within those 2.40 mins (times 5--Yes I watched it five times more, I'd watch more but wifi's being a huge bitch here). Verdict? As a boy who was deeply affected by Jurassic Park; as a boy whose dream job was an archaeologist because of that hit film; as a boy who memorized every dinosaur there is; as a boy who dragged his parents to museums to see dinosaur skeletons; as a boy whose daily job was drawing dinosaurs in epic battles (VELOCIRAPTOR VS. SPINOSAURUS!): It's pretty disappointing. Take a look at it and gimme your opinions.



Trust me, Universal (and apparently Legendary) could get me in theatres just with their 15-second tease with a haunting piano arrangement of John Williams' JP theme. But this full length trailer, released eight months prior the release date, clearly killed/handicapped the goodwill I had for this film. Don't get me wrong, I will still be there on (Japanese) opening day (FUCKING AUGUST 8). But like the future, we know it's gonna end sometime but we soldier on. So do Jurassic World, it might be bad but in Spielberg we trust. I'll break down TWO things that bugged me. Only TWO, but might be the biggest issues of all.

CGI Over-Reliance

The original Jurassic Park was 21 years ago. But the computer graphics still hold up until now. It looks like something they did yesterday. But 21 years later, why are we stuck with worse CGI quality? That picture above is definitely a homage to the stunning original scene where Dr. Grant was running with Lex and Tim and then there were horde of similar kind and then a T-Rex! The scene definitely pay homage to that, but the computer graphics seemed to pay homage to Terra Nova, which is the last Spielberg-produced property to pay homage to. And don't get me started on that Seaworld attraction. Okay, you ask for it. (Okay you didn't but I'm happy to oblige)
Every thing in this scene seemed off. The dinosaur's movement is off. The stadium structure is off. Even that wet shark seemed off. Let's just hope that this isn't the finished product. But even if it isn't why bother showing this imperfect scene to us? GUYS DON'T MESS WITH MY FEELINGS. I'm very vulnerable right now. You know what I miss? Practical effects. The Hobbit trilogy made me miss practical effects the most. Those films, although awesome, look artificial as fuck.

A genetically-modified what now?
I thought they ditched this plot. This may be a break-thru or a creative brilliance if I'm not a dinosaur fan back when I was still a boy. But I'm gonna put this on the WTF shelf along with Papa Terminator, replacing Luthor Zuckerberg which has dissolved. AND HYBRID OF WHAT AND WHAT EXACTLY. DON'T YOU DARE BRING UP THAT DINO-HUMAN HYBRID. Okay Marcel, inhale-exhale. Inhale-exhale. You're becoming that nerd who rages on everything that's wrong in the world that you don't want to be. Inhale-Exhale.

But despite these life-halting discoveries, we have some things to rejoice as well.
- It stars Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas-Howard, two magnificent actors
- Michael Giacchino is taking composer duty from John Williams. His reworked theme is easily the best thing from the trailer
- IT'S A SEQUEL TO JURASSIC PARK
- It couldn't be as strange as JPIII right? That telephone ringing from a Spinosaur stomach and shit. (But that Pterodactyl bridge sequence is ah-may-ZING)

The future doesn't seem that bleak then. At least not Genisys-level bleak. That film has the actors saving the show if it fails.

EDIT one hour after posting and thoroughly digesting the trailer:
WE HAVE A LOT TO BE EXCITED ABOUT THIS
The last minute of the trailer is pretty solid. If you chose to accept the ridiculousness of the first minute, then you're in for a treat.

But, I guess the only things we can do right now are
HOLD ON TO YOUR BUTTS
RE-WATCH THE TRILOGY

Upcoming posts:
Nightcrawler review
Mockingjay Part 1 review.

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