Retalia-meh

About eight months ago, the sequel to the Stephen Sommers-directed G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra was bumped to March 2013. That particular sequel is being helmed by the guy who brought you Step Up movies and most recently a Justin Bieber 3D concert movie. My expectation was low for this movie, obviously. Add the fact that the movie only used one--let me repeat that for ya-ONE good guy from the original film. I'm actually fine with it until I knew that that one guy isn't going to survive the whole movie just from the trailer. And then they added Dwayne Johnson, Bruce Willis and some miscellaneous names. But they just didn't sell it for me. I hated this film as soon as the trailer arrives, I mean it's not a good sign right? This is the kind of movie that falls to the category "An Uninteresting Movie That Looks Bad But I'd Like To Watch So I Can Talk Crap About It". The latest entry to this category is last year's The Amazing Spider-Man. Let me make this perfectly clear that I never saw G.I. Joe cartoons or play with the action figures so I'm perfectly viewing this from a moviegoer perspective that already saw the passable-yet-awesome Rise of Cobra.

G.I. Joe Retaliation, obviously tells the Cobra Commander's retaliation after being locked up in a super prison. The Cobra in this film has the unexplained-back-from-dead Storm Shadow, Firefly and Zartan (Imhotep) who infiltrates as POTUS whereas the Joes has Snake Eyes (....), Roadblock (the CIA guy from Fast Five), Lady Jaye (Brenda), Flint (what kind of cool nickname is FLINT?) and the original Joe (John McClane). Basically, the fraud president is being an ass and tries to get rid of the GI Joe to make way for Cobra to show-off their latest weapon Zeus, which is a bomb-dropping satellite.

Despite being one of the biggest film this month, it's not that good as promised. It's never a good sign when you got bored 15 minutes into the movie. And it's definitely not a good sign when the most okay character is the one who has no face and dialogue. One thing for sure, the visual effects disaster GI Joe: Rise of Cobra is way better than this one. The characters are unlikeable, especially Flint. Flint, a stupid, show-off Joe who made Channing Tatum died and in the words of Sherlock Holmes, lower the IQ of the whole block. The whole team's chemistry is none especially if you compare it to the first one's. I'd definitely trade Marlon Wayans for three Roadblocks for sure. The whole team is like a collage from other movies. I'd say it's a combination of a retired John McClane and Hobbs from Fast & Furious. And that decision to kill Channing Tatum affects me gravely. I actually think the movie ends right when Tatum dies. And don't get me started on RZA as the blind master which is hands down the silliest thing since the water-bender teacher in The Last Airbender. I'd like to think that Bruce Willis and Dwayne Johnson are despicably underused here. The action scenes are heavily edited or may be it is my fault that I didn't pay attention much. Great job hiring a dance film director for an action movie. However I'd like to give credit for every scene that has Snake Eyes in it and of course the cliff sword battle scene--which is unfortunately the only action scene that is worthwhile in this film. The other good point in this film: Jonathan Pryce. I just thought the first one gave so much material to continue and they just decided to reboot the whole thing. Retaliation may be this year's biggest disappointment and this is nothing compared to the silly-yet action-packed Rise of Cobra. The worst thing is that this film is a disappointment even after I had very low expectations on this film. My advice: team-up with Marlon Wayans, Rachel Nichols, Dennis Quaid and Sienna Miller and remove Flint for the third movie. G.I. Joe Retaliation: rated 1.5/4

Die Hard: Red Dawn

Olympus Has Fallen is the first part of the 'White House Attack' movies just like Mirror Mirror was the first part of last year's 'Snow White' movies or for some people just like Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter was the first part of last year's 'Abe Lincoln' movies. This summer, the bad guys will re-attack America's most protected building with Jamie Foxx in it and Channing Tatum plays the good guy. Expect over-the-top mayhem from the master of disaster himself, Roland Emmerich. Anyway, here I am going to review the film that marked Gerard Butler's return to action after two meh movies (three if you count Movie 43 as a proper movie). Olympus is directed by Antoine Fuqua of Training Day fame and whose last movie is not his finest although titled Brooklyn's Finest. The supporting cast is quite amazing with Aaron Eckhart, Melissa Leo, Ashley Judd, Angela Bassett, Dylan McDermott, Radha Mitchell and Morgan Freeman.

The plot is basically Die Hard in White House. The whole thing started when a paramilitary organization from Korea headed by a notorious terrorist impeccably infiltrated White House and took it over. And Mike Banning (Gerard Butler), an ex Secret Service found himself inside the taken-over White House and he's suddenly the only hope for United States to fight back against this terrorist attack. He may be disgraced from the service but he has an insider knowledge on the building and he also find himself in a chance to redeem himself from his past.

Sorry, WRONG movie

While the movie borrows elements from other movies, it still one hell of a movie. It was intense, bloody, pulse-pounding action/thriller. The whole plot maybe a little illogical like first of all, attacking White House and killing all the Secret Service agents and then what did the terrorist (Rick Yune/the Diamond Face from Die Another Day) expect after they succeeded? And whatever happens to the "United States of America doesn't negotiate with terrorists"? There are also some loose ends that remain unsolved until the credits rolled, like how did the super Korean invaders got ahold of the Hydra weapon or whatever happens to that drone? Olympus Has Fallen is truly the Die Hard sequel that we need and we deserve. Gerard Butler is fit for the role and he's pretty badass. Aaron Eckhart is also good in his role. Eckhart's presence made me think that this is what would happen if Harvey Dent didn't become Two-Face and eventually became POTUS. Anyway, bottom line the cast is fine. And the action oh my god. This is what the R rating is for. Using a lot of blood fx, violent killings, coarse language. The violence is, for me, satisfying and I wouldn't mind if they show some more. Olympus is not a big studio project so expect a so-so visual effects. Despite the plot flaws, the movie works as a good, thrilling time at the movies. One thing for sure, after I watched this, I'd like a Die Hard film with John McClane shooting Korean baddies and shout, "Gangnam style, motherf*ckers!"For those of you who can't wait for a sequel to OHF, don't worry, White House Down is just months away (or for me in Japan, a year perhaps). The paramilitary organization will strike back! although it may not be the same one. In conclusion, Olympus Has Fallen: rated 3.5/4

BONUS: Olympus Is To Die Hard For synopsis

In this sequel to Die Hard, John McClane took a vacation and decided to visit his son Jack in DC. John is oblivious to what Jack does in DC. Through his detective/parenting skills he found out that his son is working as one of the President's Secret Service. When John wanted to visit the White House, the Korean Prime Minister is having a meeting with the President of the United States. Suddenly, the Korean paramilitary organization headed by a notorious terrorist attacked White House and put the president as hostage and the whole nation in danger. John managed to get in the White House to find his son and became the nation's only hope to stop the terrorist's plan to unite Korea and take all of United States' money because in Die Hard movies, no matter how elaborate the plan is, it's always about money.

Next week's review: G.I. Joe Retaliation!

Fantasy by Superheroes Pack

If I get to pack and sell DVDs, I'd have a Fantasy by Superheroes Pack. Why and what the heck is "fantasy by superheroes"? Early March 2013 saw Bryan Singer and Sam Raimi tackled fantasy stories with versions of Jack and the Beanstalk and The Wizard of Oz, respectively. Both directors are known for their superhero films, X-Men and the massively masterful and original Spider-Man trilogy, again, respectively. Bryan Singer gave an update to the fairy tale and titled it Jack The Giant Slayer and Sam Raimi made a prequel to the 75-year-old film and titled it Oz The Great & Powerful. By the time I wrote this, Jack's trajectory is worst than John Carter but Oz is looking to the 4th best March opening. But let me tell you, both films although both fairy tales, are so much fun in their own way. Apparently I'm an enormous sucker for fantasy films.

Jack the Giant Slayer
The story is your usual bedtime story Jack and the Beanstalk but with a kingdom and more giants. Nicholas Hoult stars as the title role and newcomer Eleanor Tomlinson as Princess Isabelle, the damsel in distress to be saved. The rest of the cast is quite stellar, that includes Stanley Tucci, Ewan McGregor, Ian McShane and the instantly recognizable voice of Bill Nighy. Jack accidentally grew the magic beanstalk and with it lifting his house and the adventurous souled Princess to the skies, to Gantua-the giant's land. Apparently, Gantuans and men have a complicated legend that could ignite war at any time. And this beanstalk is that path to war.

Jack the Giant Slayer is a fun yet serious epic of a fairy tale. It actually could be really violent with all the gruesome death that mostly appear off-screen, then it's only a PG-13 movie. The casting is spot-on. Nicholas Hoult fits the part, Stanley Tucci is amazing as always, it's nice to see Ewan McGregor back in action, Bill Nighy is perfect as the giant's voice, and Eleanor Tomlinson is sweet (and so cool in that gold armor) and it's frustrating she isn't getting much films in the near future. The story could be more epic though. I kinda loathe a bit of the battle scene with that drawbridge (you got to see for yourself and wonder: it's men vs giants). The designs were great but the Bill Nighy voiced, two-headed giant was not the best. The animated prologue may be like a cheaply-made animation but the rest of the CGI (the giants and the beanstalk) was smooth. Stay tuned for the cool ending (although it may nuked the fridge a bit). It is actually quite a normal film when you think of it but it's definitely a fun one. Nicholas Hoult is definitely not this year's Taylor Kitsch (I loved Warm Bodies too) and we need Eleanor Tomlinson in more movies! Jack the Giant Slayer: rated 3/4.


Oz The Great and Powerful
For this film, I got press screening tickets! So I watched it for free and in 3D. I have never watched The Wizard of Oz (cue the surprise sfx). The story is about Oscar Diggs (James Franco), a circus magician who's transported magically into the land of Oz where he met witches, flying monkey and a china girl (not Chinese girl). He arrived there and the citizens of Oz thought that he's the one that would save Oz from the reign of the evil witch. Oscar was doubting but then he saw the treasure of Oz and decided to be that saviour. In his quest he also questions himself whether to be just an ordinary man or a great one.

Oz the Great and Powerful is a super fun, fairy tale adventure with crazy imagination and great CGI. In a few times, the tone of the film shifts jarringly but most of the time it can keep up with the rest of the film. The climax of the film is the best. Sam Raimi definitely nailed it. The cast's best performances goes to Rachel Weisz, Michelle Williams and Zach Braff. For the exception of Zach Braff, his early scenes is a stealer and his Finley the flying monkey is one of the best bits of the whole film. James Franco and Mila Kunis' performance is sometimes uncertain. Mila Kunis isn't like herself in this film. She isn't like the girl we saw in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Black Swan or even Date Night. You may argue that this is a different role but maybe it's the role that constrain her to rise to her full potential. As I have said before, Finley the flying monkey is one of the best things. Add the China girl to the list because they made a great team with Oscar. There's many laughs to be found here with its funny dialogues. There's also a fun Bruce Campbell cameo but I missed the Oldsmobile Delta cameo. One other thing that bothered me was that due to the heavy CGI, some parts didn't look smooth. Albeit its little drawbacks, I enjoyed this film thoroughly. When you compare this to Jack The Giant Slayer, this film is much more superior. Oz The Great and Powerful: rated 3/4.

Oscars Predictions and WINNERS!

I have watched all of the Best Picture nominees except for Michael Haneke's Amour. That's a rare feat for me really. Wohoo. I guess I'm so ready for the Oscars this Sunday night/Monday morning! In the meantime I'd like to make a guess on who's going to win and also weighing all the possibilities. Mind you I'm only doing the categories that I can actually assess and that does not include all those technical stuff like sounds or foreign language films, although I know Amour is going to win and Paperman too for Best Animated Short. the number in the brackets are my count, (predictions/results).

Best Picture
I'm going to go between Argo, Silver Linings Playbook and Zero Dark Thirty. Argo is a fine thriller and a crowd-pleaser. I loved the film. But as I watched SLP and ZDT, Argo fades. Playbook is a more down to earth film and it's pleasant in its own world. Zero Dark Thirty is a more masterful, intense film than Argo. However, it would be a no-brainer if Ben Affleck or Kathryn Bigelow are nominated, which would lead to Argo win. But I'm guessing that Argo could still win without the Best Director nom. ZDT has too much controversy around it and it's hurting the film. Playbook is not the kind of film that wins Best Pic. Hence, Argo fuck yourself.
WINNER: ARGO (1/1)

Best Actor in a Leading Role
My shortlist of the nominees are Hugh Jackman and Daniel Day-Lewis. In Les Miserables, Jackman's effort is strenuous and worth applauding for. It was a hard task. But then, put the master Daniel Day-Lewis himself in the mix and Jackman's chances of went zero dark thirty. I'd be so surprised if DDL don't bring the statue back.
WINNER: DANIEL DAY-LEWIS (2/2)

Best Actress in a Leading Role
It's very obvious that two rising actress Jessica Chastain and Jennifer Lawrence are in a tight race for this one. To be honest, it's hard to pick one between them. But then if you look at the Globes, SAG, BAFTAs, the Oscar goes to Katniss Everdeen.
WINNER: JENNIFER LAWRENCE (3/3)

Best Actor in a Supporting Role
This is tricky. Right when the first trailer for Django Unchained came out, I thought DiCaprio would finally score an Oscar. But the reality speaks different. I'm a fan of Christoph Waltz, but I get the feeling that his role as Dr. Schultz is more of a leading role material rather than supporting and it's basically a kinder Hans Landa in western time. I'd say the Oscar would go to Tommy Lee Jones in Lincoln because his role is important in the film and he plays it well.
WINNER: CHRISTOPH WALTZ (3/4)

Best Actress in a Supporting Role
Anne Hathaway. I Dreamed a Dream. Enough said.
WINNER: ANNE HATHAWAY (4/5)

Best Director
Similar to my pick for Best Picture, the race would be limited to Ben Affleck or Kathryn Bigelow. But then both of em arent nominated. My pick would go to Ang Lee for his amazing effort to film the said unfilmable book. It was a remarkable feat and the film itself is jaw-dropping. David O. Russell may sneak in though. And I wouldn't pick Steven Spielberg (although I'm a big fan), because Lincoln works because of DDL.
WINNER: ANG LEE (5/6)

Best Adapted Screenplay
Argo would walk away with the Oscar although I prefer David O. Russell's Silver Linings Playbook. But Chris Terrio's closest opponent would be Tony Kushner for his near-history-lesson screenplay for Lincoln. It was an eye-opening, rich screenplay. Still, Chris Terrio for Argo.
WINNER: ARGO (6/7)

Best Original Screenplay
I would pick Quentin Tarantino. His controversial work on Django Unchained is an amazing work. His closest opponent would be Mark Boal on the equally controversial and amazing Zero Dark Thirty. But since this is for original screenplay, I'm going for Quentin Tarantino.
WINNER: DJANGO UNCHAINED (7/8)

Best Animated Film
Once again, not Pixar's year. My pick goes to Wreck-it-Ralph, definitely the best of the bunch and also the film itself is a feast for the eyes, ears and feelings.
WINNER: BRAVE (7/9)

Best Cinematography
Life of Pi by Claudio Miranda. Everything in the film is literally too amazing to be ignored, like this picture above.
WINNER: LIFE OF PI (8/10)

Best Production Design
It'd be a close race between Les Miserables and Anna Karenina. But Joe Wright's film set in 'stage world' is the more superior, so Anna Karenina.
WINNER: LINCOLN (8/11)

Best Costume Design
Two Snow Whites in one category is super rare. Both of the movies are costume heaven. But Anna Karenina is more of a costume heaven.
WINNER: ANNA KARENINA (9/12)

Best Make-up
My initial pick would be Cloud Atlas but it was snubbed. So, I'd go for The Hobbit for it's dwarves alone (well not alone, there's 14).
WINNER:  LES MISERABLES (9/13)

Best Editing
Zero Dark Thirty takes this one for sure. Proof? Fast forward to the last 45 minutes.
WINNER: ARGO (9/14)

Best Original Score
Thomas Newman's new musical direction for James Bond films is great, using experimental and electronic sounds and mixing them up with amazing visuals on-screen. I'd say Skyfall would win but then Mychael Danna's work on Life of Pi also can't be ignored.
WINNER: LIFE OF PI (for this I'm half right) (9.5/15 jk 9/15)

Best Original Song
Let. The. Skyfall. Win.
WINNER: SKYFALL (10/16)

Best Visual Effects
My pick would be the flawless effects on Prometheus. But the Academy tends to ignore big movies/blockbusters (evidence: Tron Legacy snub in 2011). Richard Parker may take this one home instead.
WINNER: LIFE OF PI (11/17)



Hmm, so from the 17 categories I predicted, I got 11 right. Make it 13 with the obvious winners Paperman and Amour. Quite good, huh?
Also, quick bits from the big night:
- Jennifer Lawrence tripped but still managed to be fabulous.
- Daniel Day-Lewis joked and I laughed hard. So much class.
- Oscars opening this year wasn't flashy-quite disappointing
- Seth MacFarlane is a nice host but I'd turn to Ricky Gervais for offensive jokes
- Bond tribute sucked but Shirley Bassey is amazing, Adele too, as always.
- LesMis tribute wowed although the whole music concept flunked hard
- There's a tie in the Sound Editing category between Skyfall and ZDT
- Kristen Stewart and Daniel Radcliffe is like fire and water; cold and hot; vampire & wizard
- Michelle Obama is in the show!
- Tommy Lee Jones finally laughed
-  The biggest winner of the night is Life of Pi (4) and then Argo and LesMis (3), Lincoln, Skyfall and Django with two.

and I'm just going to put this video here for the world to see

That's What We Do

It was a good day to spend Valentine. Rather than eating chocolates, we got to see John McClane himself in his biggest action yet in yippie-ki-yay Mother Russia! I watched Die Hard trilogy on TV (I wasn't even born when With A Vengeance came out) and fun fact, I first learned the word 'vengeance' from the third film's title; like the first time ever I saw that word. I enjoyed the trilogy--back then, my favorite was the third, but when I revisited them, I got to say the first one was crazy intense. I may be one of the few who actually loved Live Free or Die Hard with its bombastic, over-the-top-of-the-top action that may have confused John McClane with Ethan Hunt. Plus, the fifth one is one of those Hollywood films that arrived on time in Japan. It's big for me. And I'm on spring break. And there's no other movies in Japan. No Warm Bodies, no Hansel & Gretel, hell there's even no Nic Sparks' film for Valentine!

The story is that Jack McClane (Jai Courtney-the assassin from Jack Reacher) is apparently some covert CIA agent in Russia and is in prison (hmm, similar to that film with the spectacular set piece in Burj Dubai). John McClane Senior isnt aware that his son is the 007 of Plainfield, New Jersey, so he flew to Russia to help his son. There he immediately found himself in trouble involving some conspiracy within two partners that implicates Chernobyl. Yep that's the whole story. It's that simple and short.

When I saw the 97-minute-running time on IMDb, I was a bit disappointed. But then I would still give it a go. After I saw the whole film, I didn't know how to feel. The story is quite good but is still able to be explored more. That's a shame. The story has an unforeseen twist and that's nice but then it does not live up to the potential. It's also a shame that Sebastian Koch (The Lives of Others) is wasted like that. He could be a more entertaining, [spoiler alert!] heinous villain in so many ways. The secondary villain--Alik, the dancer--is also wasted. He already had the template of a crazy villain but then--kaput. Also, it's a shame that the relationship between McClane Senior and Junior is barely touched. The film did try to explore that but if you want to be entertained by metaphor, a suitable one would be: the scientist only made a hypothesis without conducting an experiment to prove it. The film is also a waste of the R-rated rating with only a bit of blood splatters, some use of the word 'fuck' and only two uses of mo-fo, that already includes John McClane's 'how you doin'?'(read: catchphrase)

There are many logic issues like driving overnight from Russia to Ukraine, and the comfort of finding the exact car (and stealing the exact keys to it) that has shotguns and leather jackets and also exposing your body to radiation in Chernobyl. The action scenes are sometimes good and sometimes boring. To be honest, there are only few scenes of action. Mostly it's just John McClane and son shooting random things and avoiding to be killed like jumping from buildings and windows. The whole film felt like destruction porn. Maybe it wants to compete with The Matrix Reloaded's highway of hell scene. John McClane himself destroyed so many cars just as he landed in Russia, not to mention the villain who wants to 'fly', he destroyed more. Nevertheless, the action managed to be entertaining. Although John Moore's direction is annoyingly chop-chop and desperately wanted to be gritty, it's not as bad as Taken 2. Bruce Willis may be the only 80's/90's action hero that is still relevant doing this kind of crazy thing. He did his best as John McClane but, again, the script prevents him from doing his usual antics. Jai Courtney is definitely the next Sam Worthington, he's good. For the sixth entry, may I suggest bringing back Len Wiseman? Wiseman is a toned-down Michael Bay and his direction fits Die Hard 4.0 nicely. Or just have Michael Bay for the next one; surely it would be the most badass and explosion-filled Die Hard ever made. And give Bonnie Bedelia a cameo please. I'd like to see the complete McClane family. A Good Day to Die Hard may hit a franchise low but surely it embraces the 'die hard' title. This movie is just for fun. A Good Day to Die Hard: rated 2.5/4

BONUS!

As I have promised, let me throw in shorties of Gangster Squad, Mama and double bonus: Zero Dark Thirty in this post!

1. Gangster Squad

A super cool, stylized gangster drama and action courtesy of the Zombieland director. However, cool doesn't make up for the lack of the story. The premise does promise a great film, yes but more drama between the multiple protagonists may do some good. Maybe more screen time for Gosling and Stone would do some good too. The cast is amazing as promised. The film is kinda worth waiting for after the delay but still the story is the biggest problem here. But I'd watch it again just to see how cool this film is. Last word, does the slow-mo machine gun battle reminds you of the first Community paintball? Or is it just me? Gangster Squad or in Japan called L.A. Gang Story: rated 2.5/4

2. Mama

I guess it's a must for every actress to star in a horror film someday in her career. Jennifer Lawrence already did in the thank-God-it-is-a-good-one-and-I-loved-it House at the End of the Street and now it's Jessica Chastain's turn. I guess looking at Chastain's filmography so far, it's a safe bet that Mama is not going to disappoint and it's produced by Guillermo Del Toro. I'm so hooked. And yes, right from the start it's already intriguing. Starting with the twin Jaime Lannisters and creepy kids, it's the real horror film unlike those found footage films. Jessica Chastain is kinda hot in her different look here. The film is largely dependent on scares and sound effects but the actual scary bit is maybe one or two. That's what you get with PG-13 I guess. Mama:rated 3/4.

3. Zero Dark Thirty.

Kathryn Bigelow's latest. An Oscar nom. An Oscar snub. Jessica Chastain is so cool here. The movie is amazing. The last 30 minutes is just the most intense moment you could have while watching a film. The supporting cast is also nice with Kyle Chandler and Mark Strong to name a few. I cannot say anything more. The Academy totally snubbed Bigelow. Also I'd pick Zero Dark Thirty over Argo for Best Picture. Ben Affleck could have the Best Director (if he's nominated) but ZDT for Best Picture. It's just crazy good. Ah-MAY-zing! Zero Dark Thirty: definitely four out of four.