Apocalypse No

I've always thought the X-Men series being separate from the MCU as a blessing. They've created their own universe without giving in too much on the influence of MCU (you know unlike DC who's hell bent on catching up with MCU). They've amassed a great cast and even hit restart with flying colors, which might be something Marvel could struggle to do once their RDJ and the Chrises decide to quit the franchise. So after the mega-success that was Days of Future Past, the X-Men followed up their adventures with an introduction to an alleged mega villain En Sabah Nur (I dont read the comics bro cut me some slack). Reboot faces return with even newer faces with my loves Sophie Turner aka Sansa Stark and Olivia Munn aka Sloan Sabbith (why are their characters' initals SS?). Directed once again by Bryan Singer, who's just actually collecting paycheck nowadays. I mean he's the guy who made The Usual Suspects for crying out loud.

So, like thousands of years ago, a great mutant lived and died because some normal people betrayed him. And then fast-forward to 1983, through an unfortunate incident that mutant is resurrected and start to bring hell to Earth. He recruited help in the form of Four Horsemen which is Magneto, Psylocke, Storm and Angel. So naturally the X-Men should be the group to stop this new emerging villain.

So my first impression of this movie is disappointed. I've been disappointed lately by superhero movies. It's just probably the fatigue kicking in. On BvS I was massively disappointed. On Civil War I was mildly disappointed. And on Apocalypse I was averagely disappointed for the averageness this movie was compared to even X-Men: The Last Stand. Harsh I know. At least The Last Stand has Magneto played by the great Ian McKellen sans makeup as the main villain. Here? It's not even Oscar Isaac. Oscar Isaac played a better villain in Sucker Punch than this movie, not his fault really. Firstly, I don't feel the menace from the villain. Probably due to the fact he's a power blind old guy and he's blue and I don't know what his powers are. His plans are stupid. And he's stupid. I like how he just gives the Horseman position to any mutant he meets. "First mutant I see is Storm and so you'll be my Horsewoman." I would also like to point out that his powers includes costume designing and the fact that he's also a 50000 year old perv who dresses Psylocke in latex while he gives face tattoos to Angel. He's not relatable enough. We're in an age where our Star Wars villain is basically a teen with dad problems and there even was a robot whose plans were to destroy the world but still spits out mean one liners and jokes. Apocalypse/En Sabah Nur is weirdly one-dimensional. Also by making Magneto his aide, the movie robs us of the electric bromance between Erik and Charles which is the constantly enjoyable aspect of the series. The movie also doesn't justify why do we need this 1980s setting, again, thanks to En Sabah Nur (I'm not calling him Apocalypse because he doesn't deserve the title). First Class was set in the 60s because of the Cuban Missile Crisis, DoFP was set in the 70s because of Vietnam War, and here? I don't know. The only reason would be to justify the jab on both Disney and Brett Ratner by including Return of the Jedi, a.k.a. the third one that always turns out bad. (Too bad Simon Kinberg, Apocalypse is the third in the prequel series and you fucking wrote The Last Stand).

The cast did their best. With the exception of my bae Jennifer Lawrence who seemed super disinterested and just here to hangout with the other cast members. The thing is the cast did their best but their characters doesn't get the chance to shine which is something Kinberg should learn from MCU. The story is pretty predictable too. And it doesn't connect with the logic. I mean, after 20 years being an-all powerful mutant, Magneto still wants to destroy the world because he was swayed by ESN? The action sequences felt hollow. Much like the maligned version of Fantastic Four's destruction sequence, it doesn't connect with the audience. It aimed bigger but fell short. Even G.I. Joe Retaliation had a better nuclear launching sequence and I hated that movie more than anything. The fight sequences was somehow poorly directed compared to DoFP. The big fight between Psylocke and Beast was even shakier and more unfocused than the first time Paul Greengrass held a camera. I mean, don't we all want to see Olivia Munn kicking ass clearly on the big screen? I was gonna buy an IMAX ticket just for that you know? To my defense, if you think I'm a perv, you've got to see ESN. But I like the final boss fight between Charles & ESN + a new character (wink). It's so beautifully done that it possibly could redeem the dullness of everything. OH the new Quicksilver sequence is also fun, it's bigger and more ambitious than the standout sequence in DoFP! Finally some positive points. Now back to the negativity, the last complaint probably is MCU and Deadpool's fault but the whole movie seemed overly serious and took itself too seriously. Sure we can do a little zinger at Charles' bald head? I mean he literally lost a whole lot of hair in 2 seconds. Also blame it on Oscar Isaac because everytime ESN hesitates to speak all I can think of is someone saying 'so who talks first? you talk first?'. I can find other examples but I need to stop. I just wished this movie is relevant to the series. But it wasn't. For me, it ranked lower than X-Men: The Last Stand in terms of story, relevance and philosophy/the whole mutant-human connection stuff. But as a whole movie of course this is better. And for god's sake apply more make up on James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender, it's been 20 years since First Class but they seemed to only age 8 years. X-Men: Apocalypse: rated 2/4.


PS. Is it only me but is Sophie Turner less attractive with an American accent?
Oh but I forgot to tell you that she's super gorgeous throughout the movie that I want to take pictures of her. Anyway, back to the North!

PS. part two
Place your bets! Would I be disappointed by Suicide Squad? or Doctor Strange? It's 3 out of 3 so far in terms of disappointment. (edit: I forgot Deadpool, but seeing it as an unconventional superhero film, we can leave it out of the discussion. Note: I liked that movie I thought it was a 3/4 for me)

Bonus guysss, thanks to ESN's costume designing skills