This Week On... We Have No Avengers This Month

I don't know if this is some kind of American torture on Japanese people as a part of their long game on the retaliation of Pearl Harbor. Or this is Japanese self-torture on their war losses after the two atomic bombs, you know, that Bushido code and stuff. But the fact that the Japanese release of definitely the biggest movie of the summer, Avengers: Age of Ultron is delayed until July 4 is killing me. Not the reality that I have to wait for two months, because I've done worse with Star Trek Into Darkness and Thor: The Dark World (4 MONTHS WAIT). It is the necessary manoeuvre that I'm about to take to avoid imminent spoilers from the disgusting attention-seeking geeks of the internet who posts spoilers on YouTube comments and also to avoid over-sharing from the click-hungry, zero-quality movie blogs who decides that every single scene in Avengers is worth analyzing. OH LOOK AT THE HULK HOLDING HANDS WITH SCARLETT JOHANSSON! Yes, I'm going to stay away from the Internet for two months. But I will still post something here though, don't worry. It's just those posts won't have anything to do with them Earth's mightiest heroes.

But for now, let's rank the ever-growing Marvel Cinematic Universe, now includes Phase Two!
Deja vu? If you're an avid reader of this blog (which you aren't), I ranked pre-The Avengers Marvel movies three years ago exactly in this timeframe. Yeah, there's some reshuffling in the order, because you know, my own character development and stuff.

10. Captain America: The First Avenger
It is the type of property that wasted goodwill (I don't know what that meant). I've only watched this twice and I almost fell asleep at the exact same point. It is not the action-packed superhero movie that we were promised. It sucked that the movie sucked because the cast is pretty awesome. It is also sad that this lackluster movie spawned a potentially awesome TV series that unfortunately turned out to be pretty lackluster as well. Man, I really like Hayley Atwell as Peggy Carter so why can't Marvel make something good with her in it. And also, boo hoo, you just wasted Natalie Dormer big time in this film.

9. Iron Man 2
The movie's a mess. I don't know how to put it. If this were TV, this would be the equivalent of Gotham. Yes, it has that many easter eggs for future installments, many cameos. OK it's not as bad as Gotham. It has a pretty solid action though but still the story's all over the place. Yes, Scarlett's first outing as Black Widow might be one of the few things that saved this from being a total mess.

8. Iron Man 3

It's sad to see how Iron Man fell this much. The action scenes are amazing. But this film is the death of the ideology of being a hero. Tony Stark spent most of his Iron Man outings cowering in the safety of his Iron Man simulation making the suit do all the work but put himself out of harm's way. Don't make me start on those unfunny supposed-to-be-funny scenes. And of course that weak twist. And that fire-breathing Guy Pearce. Oh, so many to hate.

7. Thor: The Dark World

It's a very hollow movie, with very little consequences aside from having Agent Coulson cleaning up the mess in London. Let's make Thor movies about Thor vs. Loki because that's what people want to see. And what was that white alien doing? Nobody knows. All we know was that Tom Hiddleston owned this movie.

6. The Incredible Hulk

This is such a good movie if you think about it. Before being a cinematic universe was cool. Marvel infused just the right amount of easter eggs: not too much. Edward Norton was solid. Tim Roth was amazing. It's also refreshing to see a really mean-looking Hulk, rather than the current, a bit sappy one. I guess that's what you get when you use Mark Ruffalo's face. Hey, no hate for Ruffalo, he did a very good job. It just makes you wonder what Norton would bring if he's still Banner.

5. The Avengers

The movie could be better. It's those kiddie jokes that ruined the movies, that puny god scene or when the Hulk punched Thor out of nowhere. WHY. Despite all the stupid going on, the movie changes the landscape for being the first superhero team-up film. And executed so well than expected. The alien thing might turn off some people but yeah, it's just awesome to see those heroes team-up.

4. Thor

This one is also a very well-done film. This movie has that a different vibe with the other Marvel movies. I'd go out on a limb and say that this film is among the top three best directed Marvel movies along with Guardians of the Galaxy and Iron Man. Different with The Dark World, this one doesn't feel generic, it's original, it's grand. It's what you get when you have Kenneth Branagh on board, a superhero film on a Shakespearian scale.

3. Guardians of the Galaxy

I could love this movie more, if it's not for the over-praising that filled the Internet (guys, this movie doesn't deserve Best Picture at the Oscars, okay?). It's a fresh and a weird take on the superhero genre as well. And surprisingly, it works. The cast is instantly lovable. The juxtaposition with classic tunes only made it even better. And that dance-off scene--simply one of the best scenes of 2014.

2. Captain America: The Winter Soldier

2014 was a pretty big year for Marvel. Two movies, two game-changers. Unlike Iron Man movies which declined though time, the Cap is taking a big step by changing the course of MCU as a whole. It also doesn't feel like a generic punch-em beat-em superhero film, there's more story into it. It made Agents of SHIELD bad and good too. So, it's a big game-changer. The only sad thing is that the sub-titular character is shoved way behind for this huge story development.

1. Iron Man

Still the best film of them all is the one that started it all. We could have game-changers, but this film is the game-maker. Without it, MCU would be lost. Casting RDJ is of course a big win. He practically set the whole mood for the rest of the films. Hiring Jon Favreau is also a gamble but it worked. The whole film is a gamble and it is great. While Chris Nolan's The Dark Knight trilogy might be the best superhero films, Iron Man might be the only Marvel movie that could come close to the same level of greatness.

So, see you in two months for something Avengers related

Although, next I might talk about Daredevil.