Retalia-meh

About eight months ago, the sequel to the Stephen Sommers-directed G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra was bumped to March 2013. That particular sequel is being helmed by the guy who brought you Step Up movies and most recently a Justin Bieber 3D concert movie. My expectation was low for this movie, obviously. Add the fact that the movie only used one--let me repeat that for ya-ONE good guy from the original film. I'm actually fine with it until I knew that that one guy isn't going to survive the whole movie just from the trailer. And then they added Dwayne Johnson, Bruce Willis and some miscellaneous names. But they just didn't sell it for me. I hated this film as soon as the trailer arrives, I mean it's not a good sign right? This is the kind of movie that falls to the category "An Uninteresting Movie That Looks Bad But I'd Like To Watch So I Can Talk Crap About It". The latest entry to this category is last year's The Amazing Spider-Man. Let me make this perfectly clear that I never saw G.I. Joe cartoons or play with the action figures so I'm perfectly viewing this from a moviegoer perspective that already saw the passable-yet-awesome Rise of Cobra.

G.I. Joe Retaliation, obviously tells the Cobra Commander's retaliation after being locked up in a super prison. The Cobra in this film has the unexplained-back-from-dead Storm Shadow, Firefly and Zartan (Imhotep) who infiltrates as POTUS whereas the Joes has Snake Eyes (....), Roadblock (the CIA guy from Fast Five), Lady Jaye (Brenda), Flint (what kind of cool nickname is FLINT?) and the original Joe (John McClane). Basically, the fraud president is being an ass and tries to get rid of the GI Joe to make way for Cobra to show-off their latest weapon Zeus, which is a bomb-dropping satellite.

Despite being one of the biggest film this month, it's not that good as promised. It's never a good sign when you got bored 15 minutes into the movie. And it's definitely not a good sign when the most okay character is the one who has no face and dialogue. One thing for sure, the visual effects disaster GI Joe: Rise of Cobra is way better than this one. The characters are unlikeable, especially Flint. Flint, a stupid, show-off Joe who made Channing Tatum died and in the words of Sherlock Holmes, lower the IQ of the whole block. The whole team's chemistry is none especially if you compare it to the first one's. I'd definitely trade Marlon Wayans for three Roadblocks for sure. The whole team is like a collage from other movies. I'd say it's a combination of a retired John McClane and Hobbs from Fast & Furious. And that decision to kill Channing Tatum affects me gravely. I actually think the movie ends right when Tatum dies. And don't get me started on RZA as the blind master which is hands down the silliest thing since the water-bender teacher in The Last Airbender. I'd like to think that Bruce Willis and Dwayne Johnson are despicably underused here. The action scenes are heavily edited or may be it is my fault that I didn't pay attention much. Great job hiring a dance film director for an action movie. However I'd like to give credit for every scene that has Snake Eyes in it and of course the cliff sword battle scene--which is unfortunately the only action scene that is worthwhile in this film. The other good point in this film: Jonathan Pryce. I just thought the first one gave so much material to continue and they just decided to reboot the whole thing. Retaliation may be this year's biggest disappointment and this is nothing compared to the silly-yet action-packed Rise of Cobra. The worst thing is that this film is a disappointment even after I had very low expectations on this film. My advice: team-up with Marlon Wayans, Rachel Nichols, Dennis Quaid and Sienna Miller and remove Flint for the third movie. G.I. Joe Retaliation: rated 1.5/4

Die Hard: Red Dawn

Olympus Has Fallen is the first part of the 'White House Attack' movies just like Mirror Mirror was the first part of last year's 'Snow White' movies or for some people just like Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter was the first part of last year's 'Abe Lincoln' movies. This summer, the bad guys will re-attack America's most protected building with Jamie Foxx in it and Channing Tatum plays the good guy. Expect over-the-top mayhem from the master of disaster himself, Roland Emmerich. Anyway, here I am going to review the film that marked Gerard Butler's return to action after two meh movies (three if you count Movie 43 as a proper movie). Olympus is directed by Antoine Fuqua of Training Day fame and whose last movie is not his finest although titled Brooklyn's Finest. The supporting cast is quite amazing with Aaron Eckhart, Melissa Leo, Ashley Judd, Angela Bassett, Dylan McDermott, Radha Mitchell and Morgan Freeman.

The plot is basically Die Hard in White House. The whole thing started when a paramilitary organization from Korea headed by a notorious terrorist impeccably infiltrated White House and took it over. And Mike Banning (Gerard Butler), an ex Secret Service found himself inside the taken-over White House and he's suddenly the only hope for United States to fight back against this terrorist attack. He may be disgraced from the service but he has an insider knowledge on the building and he also find himself in a chance to redeem himself from his past.

Sorry, WRONG movie

While the movie borrows elements from other movies, it still one hell of a movie. It was intense, bloody, pulse-pounding action/thriller. The whole plot maybe a little illogical like first of all, attacking White House and killing all the Secret Service agents and then what did the terrorist (Rick Yune/the Diamond Face from Die Another Day) expect after they succeeded? And whatever happens to the "United States of America doesn't negotiate with terrorists"? There are also some loose ends that remain unsolved until the credits rolled, like how did the super Korean invaders got ahold of the Hydra weapon or whatever happens to that drone? Olympus Has Fallen is truly the Die Hard sequel that we need and we deserve. Gerard Butler is fit for the role and he's pretty badass. Aaron Eckhart is also good in his role. Eckhart's presence made me think that this is what would happen if Harvey Dent didn't become Two-Face and eventually became POTUS. Anyway, bottom line the cast is fine. And the action oh my god. This is what the R rating is for. Using a lot of blood fx, violent killings, coarse language. The violence is, for me, satisfying and I wouldn't mind if they show some more. Olympus is not a big studio project so expect a so-so visual effects. Despite the plot flaws, the movie works as a good, thrilling time at the movies. One thing for sure, after I watched this, I'd like a Die Hard film with John McClane shooting Korean baddies and shout, "Gangnam style, motherf*ckers!"For those of you who can't wait for a sequel to OHF, don't worry, White House Down is just months away (or for me in Japan, a year perhaps). The paramilitary organization will strike back! although it may not be the same one. In conclusion, Olympus Has Fallen: rated 3.5/4

BONUS: Olympus Is To Die Hard For synopsis

In this sequel to Die Hard, John McClane took a vacation and decided to visit his son Jack in DC. John is oblivious to what Jack does in DC. Through his detective/parenting skills he found out that his son is working as one of the President's Secret Service. When John wanted to visit the White House, the Korean Prime Minister is having a meeting with the President of the United States. Suddenly, the Korean paramilitary organization headed by a notorious terrorist attacked White House and put the president as hostage and the whole nation in danger. John managed to get in the White House to find his son and became the nation's only hope to stop the terrorist's plan to unite Korea and take all of United States' money because in Die Hard movies, no matter how elaborate the plan is, it's always about money.

Next week's review: G.I. Joe Retaliation!

Fantasy by Superheroes Pack

If I get to pack and sell DVDs, I'd have a Fantasy by Superheroes Pack. Why and what the heck is "fantasy by superheroes"? Early March 2013 saw Bryan Singer and Sam Raimi tackled fantasy stories with versions of Jack and the Beanstalk and The Wizard of Oz, respectively. Both directors are known for their superhero films, X-Men and the massively masterful and original Spider-Man trilogy, again, respectively. Bryan Singer gave an update to the fairy tale and titled it Jack The Giant Slayer and Sam Raimi made a prequel to the 75-year-old film and titled it Oz The Great & Powerful. By the time I wrote this, Jack's trajectory is worst than John Carter but Oz is looking to the 4th best March opening. But let me tell you, both films although both fairy tales, are so much fun in their own way. Apparently I'm an enormous sucker for fantasy films.

Jack the Giant Slayer
The story is your usual bedtime story Jack and the Beanstalk but with a kingdom and more giants. Nicholas Hoult stars as the title role and newcomer Eleanor Tomlinson as Princess Isabelle, the damsel in distress to be saved. The rest of the cast is quite stellar, that includes Stanley Tucci, Ewan McGregor, Ian McShane and the instantly recognizable voice of Bill Nighy. Jack accidentally grew the magic beanstalk and with it lifting his house and the adventurous souled Princess to the skies, to Gantua-the giant's land. Apparently, Gantuans and men have a complicated legend that could ignite war at any time. And this beanstalk is that path to war.

Jack the Giant Slayer is a fun yet serious epic of a fairy tale. It actually could be really violent with all the gruesome death that mostly appear off-screen, then it's only a PG-13 movie. The casting is spot-on. Nicholas Hoult fits the part, Stanley Tucci is amazing as always, it's nice to see Ewan McGregor back in action, Bill Nighy is perfect as the giant's voice, and Eleanor Tomlinson is sweet (and so cool in that gold armor) and it's frustrating she isn't getting much films in the near future. The story could be more epic though. I kinda loathe a bit of the battle scene with that drawbridge (you got to see for yourself and wonder: it's men vs giants). The designs were great but the Bill Nighy voiced, two-headed giant was not the best. The animated prologue may be like a cheaply-made animation but the rest of the CGI (the giants and the beanstalk) was smooth. Stay tuned for the cool ending (although it may nuked the fridge a bit). It is actually quite a normal film when you think of it but it's definitely a fun one. Nicholas Hoult is definitely not this year's Taylor Kitsch (I loved Warm Bodies too) and we need Eleanor Tomlinson in more movies! Jack the Giant Slayer: rated 3/4.


Oz The Great and Powerful
For this film, I got press screening tickets! So I watched it for free and in 3D. I have never watched The Wizard of Oz (cue the surprise sfx). The story is about Oscar Diggs (James Franco), a circus magician who's transported magically into the land of Oz where he met witches, flying monkey and a china girl (not Chinese girl). He arrived there and the citizens of Oz thought that he's the one that would save Oz from the reign of the evil witch. Oscar was doubting but then he saw the treasure of Oz and decided to be that saviour. In his quest he also questions himself whether to be just an ordinary man or a great one.

Oz the Great and Powerful is a super fun, fairy tale adventure with crazy imagination and great CGI. In a few times, the tone of the film shifts jarringly but most of the time it can keep up with the rest of the film. The climax of the film is the best. Sam Raimi definitely nailed it. The cast's best performances goes to Rachel Weisz, Michelle Williams and Zach Braff. For the exception of Zach Braff, his early scenes is a stealer and his Finley the flying monkey is one of the best bits of the whole film. James Franco and Mila Kunis' performance is sometimes uncertain. Mila Kunis isn't like herself in this film. She isn't like the girl we saw in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Black Swan or even Date Night. You may argue that this is a different role but maybe it's the role that constrain her to rise to her full potential. As I have said before, Finley the flying monkey is one of the best things. Add the China girl to the list because they made a great team with Oscar. There's many laughs to be found here with its funny dialogues. There's also a fun Bruce Campbell cameo but I missed the Oldsmobile Delta cameo. One other thing that bothered me was that due to the heavy CGI, some parts didn't look smooth. Albeit its little drawbacks, I enjoyed this film thoroughly. When you compare this to Jack The Giant Slayer, this film is much more superior. Oz The Great and Powerful: rated 3/4.