Please Stop

Just watched Transformers: Age of Extinction a couple of weeks ago. It was just released on early August in Japan. My expectations were very low. I didn't expect anything. The trailers look okay, but I wasn't expecting much. This is going to be real short.

The story takes place after the events from Transformers: DOTM. Transformers is now branded alien and dangerous no matter whether it is an Autobot or a Decepticon. Now the humans are played by Mark Wahlberg, Nicola Peltz and Jack Reynor--which is less appealing than Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox. Transfomers are now hunted but at the same time a company is making a Transformers army with less cool impact. There's also a bounty hunter who wanted Optimus Prime. I don't know, too many stuff going on.

I'll start with the good ones: Optimus Prime and Bumblebee's new design is cool. Okay that's it. The fact that Age of Extinction spent its first 45 minutes for human exposition story is kinda wtf and infinitely boring. It's cute that they think they have a legit human story to tell. We don't need Mark Wahlberg talking to Nicola Peltz for 45 minutes. The story is all over the place. The characters are bad. They actually lost me when Ratchet was brutally murdered and another part of the interest was lost when TJ Miller was Sodom and Gomorrah-ed. Apart from Prime and Bee, the other Autobots are crap. There's this racist Japanese robot whose design is like a samurai with full battle costume and he speaks like a Japanese person even though he transformed into a Bugatti Veyron. The John Goodman-voiced Autobot is basically John Goodman. The bounty hunter named Lockdown is one of the highlights. It's good and scary with some cool weapons. But the KSI Transformers (the manmade ones) are sleek but the way they transform is shit. The much hyped Dinobots is another bad thing, it made the movie weird--like really weird. I'd rather have Optimus narrate the phone book as the introduction than seeing dinosaurs in the first minutes of a Transformers film. And those obvious product placement Chinese drinks. And the racist thing that every Chinese knows kung-fu/martial arts. God. I really wanted to leave this film at some points--plural--of the film. The Bayhem seemed muted by the fact the story is really bad. Please stop making more of this atrocity. Transformers: Age of Extinction: rated 1/4

PS
This will be my last Japan-based post for 2014. Next post will be Italy-based!

In another note, my now 8-year old tradition continues with my second viewing of Godzilla, which with 2nd viewing doesn't get better. I'd give it a solid 3/4 now.

Tommy C in Japan Y'all

So one of my favorite actors, Tom Cruise (I don't need to mention his films right?), came to Japan about one month ago. As a part of his promotion stunt to visit three cities in one day just like he did in the world premiere (NY, Paris, Rome--if I'm not mistaken), he repeated the same thing in Japan by visiting--in chronological order, Osaka--Fukuoka--and finally Tokyo. I was quite blessed to have the opportunity to go to Fukuoka to see him!

It's a crazy day, and the fan meeting event was held in one of the busiest spots in Fukuoka: Hakata Station, one of the central stations in that city. People were already waiting since 9.00 am in the morning for the event on 13.30. I myself arrived at around 11, when people were already lining up like it was a Disneyland ride. It was the most unstrategic place to hold a fan meeting of any scale, let alone Tom Cruise's fan meeting. Take a look at this crazy pic from above.

By 13.30, people were commuting around like crazy as they are trying to join the crowd although they didn't line up since 9 am. Tom Cruise showed up with director Doug Liman and one of the producer whose name I can't recall. Tom Cruise greeted the people above he also looked unsatisfied with the venue. Even though he's on a stage, most people couldn't see him. Then he climbed onto a railing and stood up there and waved to people. The crowd went nuts. Then he gave a short speech about he love coming to Japan and how the Japanese original inspired the Hollywood adaptation. I loved how he's so humble and kind to the fans--or as the Japanese call it 'meccha ii fan sabisu'. One sentence moved me a lot when he said, "it is my honor to entertain you"

not from my iPhone-duh

He was up there for around 20 minutes in total. Doug Liman was asked questions and the producer too. Then the three of them were given a traditional Fukuoka yukata. And that was it. I think there was a special screening of a bit of the film, I have no idea whether Tom Cruise was there or not. I hope not, because if he did, I'd be so pissed that I didn't 'hunt' him.

Here's to more movie premieres in the future.

                        

Late Bloomers

I am sorry. I have not written here for so long that I have forgotten this habit. I owe whoever frequently reads this shitty blog of mine. So, about three weeks ago I had a marathon of the films I would call Frozen dethroners. So, in Japan Frozen (or titled in Japan as a more sensible but generic fare Anna and the Snow Queen) had reigned the box office for 14 weeks straight. But then Maleficent and Edge of Tomorrow (or titled cooler in Japan All You Need Is Kill) was released and succeeded in breaking the 14-week-reign. And just yesterday, Japan finally welcomed their own creation Godzilla.

Edge of Tomorrow
I felt blessed to have met/seen Tom Cruise live in Japan before watching this film. This film looked super solid from the first trailer and it actually is. The main plot is a recycled Groundhog Day but with more rules and twists. Tom Cruise plays Lt. Cage, a coward PR agent who was forced to join the army and battle alien race called Mimics. He's helped by the Full Metal Bitch, Rita Vrataski (a hyper badass Emily Blunt). Edge of Tomorrow is surprisingly intense and funny at the same time while still retaining the quality it possesses, a really rare feat for a summer blockbuster these days (last time a summer film was funny and action-packed was White House Down and we know how it turned out). The ending is another great point for me. It doesn't make sense, but do everything has to make sense? You should be able to figure it out by yourself using your own brain. Edge of Tomorrow: rated 4/4

Maleficent
I have never seen Sleeping Beauty (cue the jaw drop), so I came to this film only knowing that sleeping beauty is Aurora and the villain is Maleficent. I thought the film would still retain the animated film version but with a perspective from the villain, make Maleficent like an anti-hero thing. But no, they actually did a new take on the film. It is also a part of the new wave Disney that tries to wash clean the whole true-love-is-from-a-prince thing, like Frozen. The visuals look cool and stuff, Angelina Jolie is great as the titular role but the fact that it has so little story bugged me. It felt great at sometimes but at some time it also felt disjointed and out of place. I find it sad to see Sharlto Copley reduced as a grunting King whose death was cut just to make the PG rating. Also Brenton Thwaites reduced to just being a pretty face, when he could do great like in the stellar horror film Oculus. Lana del Rey's take on Once Upon A Dream though, that's quality. Maleficent: rated 2.5/4

Godzilla
The King of Monsters is back. Gareth Edwards of Monsters fame is on the helm with a group of spectacular actors that include Bryan Cranston, Elizabeth Olsen and Sally Hawkins. After the ill-received Roland Emmerich version of Godzilla in 1998, this version is the one Hollywood and Japan needed. It is a fresh take on Godzilla, and it combined the geek momentum from the underrated Pacific Rim and also the popularity of the creature itself. The story is more in this film, so for those people who asked for more story in your films you can suck on this. In this version, Godzilla is mother nature's natural weapon to eliminate MUTOs or you can just say Kaiju. He battled (spoiler) two creatures that were to endanger humanity. The approach to this film is an exceptional one. Instead of giving us the creature from the get go, it builds up to the climax. It is very effective to create this dark brooding atmosphere so that we can feel like in the situation. However, I think the story might be too much that it kinds of sidelined the human characters. It's such a pity to see Elizabeth Olsen just screaming around whenever Godzilla was battling the other monsters. Also Ken Watanabe who's just there to stare at things and got awed at creatures. There's not enough Godzilla action too, but everytime he's on screen it's that awesome y'all. I also don't like the fact that Godzilla was praised after he destroyed two cities that are separated by an ocean. What about Man of Steel? Bottomline, Godzilla may not be a summer film, but it is an amazing film. Godzilla: rated 4/4

Golden Men

Sorry, I have reviews of Edge of Tomorrow and Maleficent on draft and post about Tom Cruise's quick stroll to Fukuoka. But today was Emmy noms announcement. And let's just breathe in at that KILLER category: OUTSTANDING LEAD ACTOR IN A DRAMA SERIES.

You ready? Cause I kinda not.

Jeff Daniels as Will McAvoy (The Newsroom) 
Last year's winner. This year's in Dumb and Dumber To. Last season of The Newsroom was stellar although not for the critics. Last year's win was an upset for Cranston and this year sees Daniels in a very slim chance of winning his second.


Jon Hamm as Don Draper (Mad Men)
Seven seasons, zero Emmys. It's about time Jon Hamm win the statue but looking at this year's rivals, not today Don. Thank goodness the final season of Mad Men is given the TV version of Deathly Hallows--split into two parts. His last chance is next year.


Woody Harrelson as Martin Hart (True Detective)
In this year's amazing debut, True Detective is making the critics and audience crazy. First season and they have the duo from Surfer Dude? I mean, the most underrated actor in Hollywood Woody Harrelson is on TV? It should be a win, if not because of his having-the-time-of-his-life costar.


Kevin Spacey as Frank Underwood (House of Cards)
If this were a House of Cards world, then Frank Underwood--I mean, Kevin Spacey would've won. Netflix got one of their two gems multiple-nominated for Emmys and Kevin Spacey has always been the driving force behind Netflix's rising dominance. I wished he would win but the competition, man.


Bryan Cranston as Walter White (Breaking Bad)
Last year was BB's last season and BEST season. Not only it's great to see the legendary show honored with Cranston's win, but Cranston truly deserved it as well. It's time to remember his name properly by giving him an award.


Matthew McConaughey as Rust Cohle (True Detective)
And this is the big boy. Other networks were protesting HBO's decision to submit True Detective as Drama series, which means less chance for those equally great shows to win--because admit it, True Detective was crazy amazing. And this ACADEMY-AWARD WINNING ACTOR is the lead, and it's not just a cash-in performance, it was an ACADEMY-AWARD WORTHY performance. Even in my opinion, it's better than his turn in Dallas Buyers Club. This is your winner people, and if he's not, then lemme replay that Charlton Heston cameo scene from Tim Burton's remake just to say: damn them, damn them all to hell!

Well in my opinion it's just down to three: SPACEY VS. CRANSTON VS. MCCONAUGHEY
There are one name that's missing in the amazing entry of men above though: the Master in Masters of Sex, Martin Sheen as William Masters. Also there are many noteworthy Emmy rivalry this year, but not as crazy as the men above. Take a look at some of these below

PAUL VS. DINKLAGE
I wished Aaron Paul would win, but it's just impossible to beat Peter Dinklage.

GUNN VS. HEADEY
Anna Gunn all the way even though Lena Headey is so good as the Lannister bitch.

OITNB THREESOME CLASH
It's Nicky vs. Crazy Eyes vs. Sophia. I'll bet my normal eyes for Crazy Eyes.

CUMBERBATCH VS. FREEMAN
I don't know who's gonna win because I haven't seen Fargo yet. But it's fun seeing this.

THE NORMAL HEART DUDE-FOURSOME VS. FREEMAN
Although it has Matt Bomer and Jim Parsons among them, they said The Normal Heart is an obvious awards-bait. But Martin Freeman in Sherlock is just pure quality.


It's so crazy that even the Emmys could be this crazy. Five years ago no one would've paid attention to all the fuss on TV because movies were way better. But now, whoa.

Noah Begins

This one is a long story. So, back in March I was in Indonesia and this Aronofsky latest is definitely on my watchlist while in Indonesia. But weeks prior to its planned release, I kept hearing news that Noah is banned in many Muslim countries, even Malaysia. I became suspicious, Indonesia a self-proclaimedly proud country with Muslim majority must be making up its mind about the film. Then about three days before the release, Noah was pulled from every coming soon list in cinemas. The censorship board was: Noah might bring restlessness that can affect people's beliefs and also the country's condition leading up to the national election three months later. What. A. Lot. Of. Bull. Fucking. Shit. Anyway, here I am three months later in Japan finally watching the film in its glory in cinemas. After last time, I missed Black Swan in cinemas because of Indonesian government stupidity (see the Hollywood film boycott in 2011), I would not miss any more Darren Aronofsky film.

The film is a different take on that story from the Bible. Noah is tasked with saving the animals by God who wants to wipe out humanity because their bad deeds were beyond saving. After Cain/Abel incident, the world was divided into two: the Cain family who brought darkness and the Seth family who brought blessings. Don't forget additional Bible mythology that includes The Watchers, fallen angels trapped in the constraints of the Earth. Bottom line, this is not your religion class' version of the tale of Noah.

Even as a (supposedly) devout Catholic, this film surprised me a lot. I don't mind that God was not mentioned, The Creator was one of God's nickname anyway. If we complained about that, then all those dinosaur fossils can complain because apparently Brontosauruses was called Long Necks in The Land Before Time. It has strange customs that involves snakeskin from the Garden of Eden snake, old guy craving for berries, and exotically fictional animals. What bugged me the most was Noah's struggle that was very dark. Noah let an innocent girl die, and almost (spoiler) killed two other innocent lives. He was very grim and unlike what you imagined in the Bible. And no, God did not call out on Noah and his family that it was time to be in the lands. There's no God's voice. It is also different from the Bible firstly from the fact the in this film Noah is not some hundred years old and all of his boys already have wives. There are many creative takes on the story and I need to watch it again in order to fully understand Aronofsky's intention. It's also a shame that the film chose not to spend more time on how Noah and the Watchers build the ark. But what was amazing was all the majestic scenes: the creation scene and the holy water scene. Clint Mansell's score is also amazing. It's a wonder those speakers at the cinema could handle that much of awesomeness. Despite the creative freedom taken by Aronofsky, the theme raised in the film was very resonant and religious. The take on how water was used instead of fire to annihilate mankind was amazing too. Water was cleansing and purifying whereas fire was pure destruction. It was beautiful. The cast is also great, Russell Crowe is fitting as the rugged and gritty Noah. I think this version of Noah that we now see is a product of Christopher Nolan and Batman Begins' influence. The year 2005 saw everything changed into grittiness and realism, but thankfully Darren Aronofsky still awes us with fantasy in this film. Noah: rated 3/4 (basically because I need to watch it again)


Next up: my report on seeing Tom Cruise in Fukuoka.
Next next up: review on Jay Depp's Transcendence or double feature of Edge of Tomorrow/Maleficent