This Never Happens (bonus inside!)

As we all know, Indonesian movies has now hit a new level of quality. With The Raid still going strong in its fourth week, next week we'll going to have Modus Anomali directed by Joko Anwar on April 26. However, in every good apple, there's a bad apple. Do behold of this trailer of the film titled Amphibious or the Indonesian titled Angkara Murka below:




This film kinda erases all the goodwill of recent Indonesian cinema. Look at the effects! The monster is a rip-off from that scorpion creature from the 2010 version of Clash of the Titans. The plot feels like Anaconda. The silliness feels like your average Indosiar sinetrons [Indosiar is an Indonesian TV channel which constantly makes and airs cheaply made monster movie with warriors set in ancient times]. The trailer is horrible, I mean, I don't want to watch this film after seeing that trailer. And dude, it's Indonesia's first 3D film! It's a shame that a film titled Angkara Murka is actually that cheap. So I went on to have a research about this mess and here's what I got:

- The director, Brian Yuzna, once collaborated with a production house in Spain. nice start
- The film was English-languaged, badly scripted, badly acted, bad story.
- The creature effects are incredibly cheesy but the make-up effects are good.
- The 3D was surprisingly okay
- Not the kind of film you want to watch after you're still in awe with The Raid


I'm posting this so that people won't feel robbed after paying the tickets. I'm just giving a heads up. To be honest, I'm quite interested when I heard about the title and the film is Indo's first 3D too. But after you saw the trailer, damnnnn forget about what I said before. Which got me thinking, I once thought that the best way to watch a film is to avoid all trailers so you would be surprised (in a good way of course). Maybe it is still the best way, but you might actually want to read the premise of the story, rather than just "going commando", if you know what I mean (don't include the meme)

But you know what, throw this post away because never fear to try something new (even if you fail in the end)


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BONUS!
Since I have decided to not check out Tarsem Singh's Mirror Mirror, I took the liberty of including my friend's three-sentence-review of the film [I might squeeze something out for more though]. This is what she said about 2012's first Snow White film: "It's quite entertaining! The starting pace of the film was a bit childish and corny, but I can live with that. Julia Roberts is too angel-faced to be an evil queen and Lily Collins is soooo beautiful."
You can always check out my friend's amazing fashion blog right here -> isleofview

And my only response was: let's wait for Snow White and the Huntsman. Mentioning SWATH, look at the bloody nice new theatrical poster below compared with the best poster for Mirror Mirror

Gotta give the hats off to Mirror Mirror aka Blanche Neige sans Le Chasseur for not putting Julia Roberts in the center of the poster just because she's handsomely paid. Also for having a decent shot of Armie Hammer looking cool. But dude, Snow White and the Huntsman aka Blanche Neige et Le Chasseur is better in every way. Look at that cool poses and an actual face of a beautiful, yet evil queen! But one thing for sure, Blanche Neige is French for Snow White.

3 Weeks to Go

It's about 3 weeks to go guys and the wait is going to be over.
You all know what I'm talking about right? The first-ever mega-scale superhero team-up film?
In honor of The Avengers release, let's take a look at those superheroes in that particular universe and rank em up!

5. Iron Man 2
The weakest film in this Marvel Cinematic Universe, a disappointing follow-up to one of the most awesome superhero films. Iron Man 2 is heavily 'spoilered' with all those revealing clips and trailers. Not to mention illogical events with War Machine. Also, SHIELD's involvement makes this film too complicated and unfocused. The good part is we got to see Scarlett Johansson's first outing as Black Widow.

4. Captain America: The First Avenger
Firstly, I already despised Chris Evans' casting as the hero, mostly because of the fact that he was Johnny Storm in Fantastic Four series. The film itself was actually okay and incredibly casted with Stanley Tucci and Tommy Lee Jones, to name a few. What the film lacks was Captain America's heroic acts as Captain America, not skinny Steve Rogers. But the film did has some memorable action, although lacking.

3. The Incredible Hulk
One of the best casting decisions ever to make Ed Norton as the title role of Bruce Banner, which was unfortunately replaced by Mark Ruffalo in The Avengers. The film also has Tim Roth as Emil Blonsky, the villain. The story is straight up simple without having too much or even less. Also, this film did make the Hulk caring and cool, not silly like Ang Lee's version.

2. Thor
I don't know why I love Thor, maybe because Thor is not human, and is not an alter-ego. Thor also came from a totally different universe and has mystical powers. Not to mention that the film is also funny at times which makes it not boring (yeah, you Steve Rogers). And don't forget that this film has Natalie Portman and also the amazing Tom Hiddleston as Loki.

1. Iron Man
Simply because it is awesome and badass. I don't think it is necessary to include any opinion whatsoever.

THE AVENGERS opens May 4

3 weeks guys, 3 weeks.

You Sunk My Ba..(explosion)!

It's a strange strategy, to release a major summer film outside of America first. Unless it's a Tintin film which is more renowned outside the States. Battleship, a film based on a board game starring Taylor Kitsch (John Carter), Alexander Skarsgaard of True Blood, Rihanna, Brooklyn Decker and Liam Neeson opens a month before its release in United States with hopes of building momentum. I would say it's a misguided strategy unless the film's is universally acclaimed. With Battleship, we can only wish to be entertained, we're not here for substance.

The story revolves on an attempt to contact alien life with a ground-breaking satellite, and apparently it worked. That distant planet sent some of their citizens to visit Earth to break havoc and stuff. They surrounded Hawaii (thank God it's not New York or Los Angeles) and as the tagline suggest, they started at sea. And so, our 'hero' comes. He is Alex Hopper (Kitsch), a wild-behavioured (apparently) Lieutenant in the US Navy, who has a brother (Skarsgaard) and is also in a relationship with the Admiral's daughter (smokin' Brooklyn). Hopper, with some of the Navy are only the ones who is able to attack back the alien forces.

I didn't expect this to be that entertaining, I was expecting it to be quite silly. However, it is bold for me to say that Battleship is actually better than Transformers 2. The action scenes are perfect, the tech designs are good, and the destruction-level, although not in an extinction-level as said in the film, is decent. Taylor Kitsch is quite good although he's trapped in a dumb-ass-bound-to-be-a-hero-kind-of-role, and Rihanna is acceptable. She deserves at least a Golden Globe IF you compare her to Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. Best of all, there is an actual Battleship playing like in the board game!  In spite all of that, Battleship doesn't feel original. I think Peter Berg tried so hard to differentiate himself from Michael Bay, the actual expert on explosion-filled films but he failed. If you want cool CG scenes of destruction and explosion, go for Michael Bay. If you want cool entrance scenes from random people with sunlight or sunset behind them, go for Michael Bay. Ultimately, if you want cool lens flares to grace the screen, go for J.J. Abrams. There are too much lens flares here and it doesn't make sense at all. The characters in the films are, frankly, stupid. Take a look at the Alex Hopper character: a messed-up personality who enters the Navy and within weeks (presumably) he became a Lieutenant and is still messed-up afterwards. F*ck logic! Also, the aliens are the worst Earth invaders ever! And you may think that the Independence Day aliens were already dumb enough to not include Norton Antivirus in their system but this brings us to a whole new level of stupidity. They were good enough to put up a force field to surround Oahu and other islands but not good enough to upgrade their battleship shields? It was too easy to randomly hit their ship and there's no force field! Their communication system was already destroyed when they entered Earth! Also, what's up with the dolphin-style ship? Aliens, you're making it too easy for the humans! And there's also a human stupidity, which comes from Mike Teavee's dad that said 'we're looking at an extinction-level shit'. Well, to be honest I don't see that. I may need random cities in various countries being destroyed rather than supercuts of Obama giving an emergency speech. Okay, I think those are Michael Bay influences. Let's not forget about the old Navy reunion, which is kinda stands between the line of epic and laughable. Talk about acting, I never saw Alexander Skarsgaard in any film but damn, he takes his character's name too serious: Stone. As for Brooklyn Decker, I just enjoyed your screen presence. I know this film is PG-13, so just omit those 'mf' words because it's a bit silly ["Mahalo, mother-(explosion sound)", "Fire mother-(explosion)!"] But overall, I'm quite satisfied with this film. Just put aside all those strange things I mentioned above and this movie's gonna do just fine. Oh and more thing: do stick to the very end of the film for an after-credits scene. Battleship hints a summer full of awesomeness! Battleship: rated 2 out of 4 stars

Here's a bonus of Brooklyn Decker pic (from the film of course)

P.S. For those who visits Battleship's page on IMDB, please avoid the forum titled '31 plot holes' because more than half of them are pure stupidity. But the film's quite stupid anyway.

word of the day: stupidity

Finally

Finally, after 3 weeks I watched The Raid! I skipped it by prioritizing The Hunger Games and Wrath of the  Titans. My main concern was the violence because hearing other people, it was extremely violent. So, this week in my country there's no decent films coming out. We have Act of Valor and Titanic 3D opening but I'm not interested at all in Act of Valor, but I kinda wanna watch Titanic but without the 3D, so I skipped both of them. Which means, opening the gate for me to watch The Raid, which has already became a massive hit locally with more than a million audience all over Indonesia. I'd like to think that it is a responsibility as an Indonesian to watch this film.

The story is soooo simple. A rookie SWAT team raids a building full of criminals, and something goes wrong. Otherwise, it wouldn't be a film. The criminals are led by the sadistic Tama (Ray Sahetapy) and aided by two gangsters, Mad Dog (Yayan Ruihan) and Andi (Donny Alamsyah). Our main character here is Rama (Iko Uwais) who is apparently smarter and more skillful than any other members because he's pushed by another motive than only to take Tama into custody.

For action fans, this film is like the oasis in the desert and the sweater in snow storm. However, I wouldn't mind adding another 10 minutes for more story to balance action and substance. The story can be expanded more so that the final act would actually be logical and understandable. Some things just came out of the blue here. Another thing that bothers me is that the action is too much that it bores me. Maybe it's just me, i dont know. But also there's a lack of creativity and simplicity in the fight choreography. It's simpler to hit someone's crotch than hitting his head repeatedly or using complicated fight moves. No one does it here. Like the fight (spoiler) between Mad Dog and Rama+Andi. It's supposed to be easy when you actually make use of that 'two-player' advantage and do some team work (and hit his crotch with that bloody heavy-looking boot). Other than that, this film is far better than any Indo films out there right now. The scenes are expertly staged and crafted. [Personal favorite: the-machete-in-cheek scene!] I also loved the humor in the story. Thanks for making it unexpectedly funny at unexpected times. Also, I should give a praise to the sound guys cos the sound effects are amazing. It sounds very Hollywood-ish and even better than some Hollywood action films' sound effects. The Raid is just one of the very few Indonesian films that actually made me satisfied when I walked out of the cinemas. So proud that Indonesian film industry is getting a lot better these days. The Raid: rated 3.5 out of 4 stars

PS. stupid Americans, why do you want to add 'Redemption'? It makes no sense at all.